What Drives Your Addiction

I know what drives my addiction……The answer is one word ME. I am learning to take responsibility over my addiction. It is truly a hard habit to break. It is cunning. It is baffling. It is a dis-ease. My disease has taken me to a living hell and back. My life does not smell like roses and I do not wear rose colored glasses. I do not have 20/20 vision. I wear bifocals. Most of the time I try to embrace my life for what it is…..A blessing in disguise. I am the great pretender. I put up walls and false fronts. The real me is “ugly” inside. My insides turn and twist into knots each time I cannot say no to my addiction. My life has no room for my extra addiction baggage. I don’t want to go to Kansas with ToTo. I just want to be normal again. I want to live a life free of worry and self doubt. I want to be a productive member of society……But I cannot. I cannot seem to fathom the importance of letting go of my addiction. My addiction feeds me false hope and an alternative to the real world. My life is at best just hanging on by a single strand of thread. I am in a delicate position. One that is filled by daily physical pain. I have a DR. for every disease in my body, mind, spirit, and soul. Yet, I am happy and grateful to be alive and surrounded by a solid support system…..What drives my recovery is knowing that my story can help others in the program.

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About recoverylife101

We all are connected in one way or another in this great big world. What connects us? Just being human. Come join me on the adventure of a lifetime as we explore the idea of leaving cherished legacies.
This entry was posted in Acceptance, Courage, Daily reflections, Life Choices, Living through painful moments, New Beginnings, Recovery journey and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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