Letting Go

I often wonder how can I let go of the negativity in my life. Most of it is fear based. I am coming up against a difficult surgery. I worry unnecessarily about the what if’s. What if I don’t get back the nerve function in my arm. I’ll live with it like I have done before. I am hoping for a miracle. I just don’t want my arm to get worse or deformed from lack of nerve function. I cannot give up hope. Hope is all I have. I wonder how am I going to explain the surgery to my youngest son. He hates it every time I have to go to the hospital. It will get easier I keep telling myself. I have to let go of my fears. I have a fear of pain. This is going to be difficult. The surgeon will not order pain medication for me. Not that I am addicted to drugs. He just doesn’t want the implication that I am. I will have to suffer through the pain. Thank God for Ibuprofen. I just want it to be over. I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I want my life back again. I want things to be the way they used to be. If only life could be so easy. I never asked for it….it just happened. My life has been a state of acceptance and adjustment. I have to accept the fact that I’ll need physical therapy. I can only hope and pray that every thing will work out.

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About recoverylife101

We all are connected in one way or another in this great big world. What connects us? Just being human. Come join me on the adventure of a lifetime as we explore the idea of leaving cherished legacies.
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