Letting Go

I often wonder how can I let go of the negativity in my life. Most of it is fear based. I am coming up against a difficult surgery. I worry unnecessarily about the what if’s. What if I don’t get back the nerve function in my arm. I’ll live with it like I have done before. I am hoping for a miracle. I just don’t want my arm to get worse or deformed from lack of nerve function. I cannot give up hope. Hope is all I have. I wonder how am I going to explain the surgery to my youngest son. He hates it every time I have to go to the hospital. It will get easier I keep telling myself. I have to let go of my fears. I have a fear of pain. This is going to be difficult. The surgeon will not order pain medication for me. Not that I am addicted to drugs. He just doesn’t want the implication that I am. I will have to suffer through the pain. Thank God for Ibuprofen. I just want it to be over. I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I want my life back again. I want things to be the way they used to be. If only life could be so easy. I never asked for it….it just happened. My life has been a state of acceptance and adjustment. I have to accept the fact that I’ll need physical therapy. I can only hope and pray that every thing will work out.

About recoverylife101

We all are connected in one way or another in this great big world. What connects us? Just being human. Come join me on the adventure of a lifetime as we explore the idea of leaving cherished legacies.
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