HALT

Halt=Hungry Angry Lonely Tired. I learned this years ago in a twelve step program. This is a mini self inventory for me. Am I hungry for the wrong things?  Right now yes. I am thinking that my anger is leading me down a slippery slope. Trickle affect. People asking me stupid questions. I explode big time so much that the individual asks me do you want to talk to her supervisor. Don’t do it I thought to myself. I need a time out. The type of time out where you sit in the corner and cry until you can’t cry anymore. Am I hungry? Yes! I am hungry for recovery. I am so sick and tired of being sick and tired. Slowly this PTSD is killing me. I feel alone. No one really understands me. I want to scream and shout. I pretend to be happy but I am not. I put on a false face and step out into the world. I hate feeling this way anger is my constant companion. Music soothes me. I take long drives in my car to forget. Just for the moment. Tired……When was the last time I slept like a baby? No answer. Pain disrupts my sleep. Never ever get hungry, lonely or tired. Today I will have to deal with it and not ignore it. It’s like that big pink elephant in the room that no one one wants to address. I want to hold a sign up that says ” Stop asking me how am I.” I know it is what everyone does out of common courtesy. I have been telling them the truth……..I am in pain. I hurt. No one wants to hear “stuff” like that. I have been stuffing my feelings for too long. Time to go back to the……..Let go and let God stage.

 

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About recoverylife101

We all are connected in one way or another in this great big world. What connects us? Just being human. Come join me on the adventure of a lifetime as we explore the idea of leaving cherished legacies.
This entry was posted in 12 step progam, Anger, Celebrate Recovery, Change, Let Go and Let God, Life Choices, Slogans and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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