When I am in physical pain, I lash out at everyone and anyone in my path of self destruction. Pain has no filter. It just comes out as…….hurt people want to hurt people. I want to scream and yell “Can’t you see that I am hurting and you are hurting me even more?” I go as far as to say…….”Do you need to see the X-rays to tell that I am truly broken?” Recently I had a vocational rehabilitation counsellor complain to her boss that I had treated her in a verbally abusive manner by saying ” I have someone else to call to take care of this situation” I guess it was my tone of voice that inflicted the insult to injury. There is no way to put this kindly. I am old school and she is new school. The worst part was talking to her old school boss who could not quite grasp the fact that I physically cannot write for two three hour undergrad classes with a broken arm that just so happens to be my dominant arm. She has not been listening to anything I have been saying and says ” Can’t you video tape the lecture with your camera?” This is real stupidity at it’s best funded by the government of pre Donald. Sometimes in life we have to admit our needs in a more specific manner. Stay on top and never sink below to someone’s lack of understand. We all have this basic need to be understood. When we are misunderstood, the old ugly head of addictive hurts and habits may break out in an unfiltered manner of verbal assault. Fear of losing control in recovery is real. Break free from denial. Be confident in your recovery. You can get through it with the right program. Celebrate Recovery or a specific twelve step program can help. Just do it! Take the addiction beast by the horns. Get your recovered life on!