I went out last night for my last weekend of Spring break. I ran into three people who told me their stories without me even asking them. All of the individuals said key sentences that caught my ear. The first person was an elderly woman in her late 70’s struggling to care for her husband with dementia. Her words….. “I know I shouldn’t be doing this but I need an escape.” She admitted that she had too much to drink. I could tell. The strong smell of alcohol filled my personal space. I listened to her stories. I realized she needed to get it off her chest. I gave her some suggestions hoping that she would feel less overwhelmed. I will never know the outcome. I hope that she finds peace of mind. The last two individuals were a young couple. We talked for the longest time. He shared with me his battle with alcohol and his recovery. He stepped away for a minute and I privately talked to his girlfriend. I told her that she was a great support system for her boyfriend. She gave me a great big hug. Sometimes in life we lose ourselves in deep addictive battles. The mind is strong. It pulls the addict into a world of despair. They fall off the wagon over and over again. Recovery covers our wounds so that we may heal. Recovery takes perseverance and a willingness to follow the twelve steps. Recovery is about changing harmful behaviors and becoming addiction free.
I had an interesting experience last night as I people watched and people watched me. No one pointed the finger at me. I pointed the finger at myself for being up so late. Are we having fun yet? The voice of addiction said in my head. That is it! Addiction talks to you and says “Go ahead and do it……You know you want to. Try it you will like it. This won’t hurt a bit. Addicts are pleasure seekers because they are not pleased with themselves or their lives. What is feeding your addiction? If you are addicted to food, you just can’t stop eating you will die of starvation. Take an overdose and there is a strong possibility of dying. Life saving measure…….The lifeline of recovery. That is the only way. The 12 steps or Celebrate Recovery will lead the way. There will always be someone there to help you on your path towards recovery. There is hope.
It has been quite awhile since I have posted anything with good reason. These past few months have been filled with worry, hurt, bitterness, and anger. You name it and I have felt it. Today I feel scared at the outcome of pending surgery in a few short hours. I am scared of the big C. But I know that God is in control. I have never had control. My illness is out of my hands. Only God knows. All I know is ASAP= Always Say A Prayer. I recently posted a prayer request on a prayer group and only 3 people out of over 200 responded. I felt abandoned with such lack of response. Yet total stangers I met have outnumbered those 3 individuals. I realize now that God only matters. He is the ultimate healer. He knows his plans for all of us. Those still active in addiction and those of us in recovery. May 2019 bring you peace and restoration. May God be with you on your journey of recovery. Recovery means something different for me now. Pray for me and always remember ASAP.
Posted in Change, Daily reflections, Gratitude, Let Go and Let God, Living through painful moments, Random thoughts, Recovery journey, Surrender
Tagged ASAP, letting go, prayer, recovery
Suicide is not rich. Suicide is not famous. Suicide does not discriminate. It happens. Leaving loved ones behind to grieve and wonder why. Every day lives are lost to suicide. Know the warning signs.The following is from the website:
These signs may mean that someone is at risk for suicide. Risk is greater if the behavior is new, or has increased, and if it seems related to a painful event, loss, or change:
- Talking about wanting to die or kill oneself
- Looking for a way to kill oneself
- Talking about feeling hopeless or having no reason to live
- Talking about feeling trapped or being in unbearable pain
- Talking about being a burden to others
- Increasing the use of alcohol or drugs
- Acting anxious or agitated; behaving recklessly
- Sleeping too little or too much
- Withdrawing or feeling isolated
- Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge
- Displaying extreme mood swings
What would you do if you knew someone who felt this way? Addiction can play havoc on the mind. Addiction can take you to the the point of no return. Never say to yourself……”It’s not my problem.” Everyone has problems that go unseen or noticed. Take the time to understand the signs and symptoms of suicide. You just might save a life.
I have been recovering from an accident for the past 9 months. I have been told that I have at least 9 more months to recover. Thank God for the program. Recovery takes patience and time. I have been to my rock bottom. I had an incident happen in which I was kicked out of my Bachelor’s program for interacting AKA talking with high school students. It was a hard hit. I immediately went into panic mode. What am I going to do now? I am still waiting patiently. Recovery from life’s hurts, habits, and hangups takes time. But as human beings, we want it and we want it now. Recovery has taught me to slow down and interact with positive like minded people. No matter where you are in your journey of recovery always remember be patient.
The following is a book review for the book Honestly:Getting Real About Jesus and Our Messy Lives by Daniel Fusco. This book gives the reader a real hope that although our lives may be messy…..Jesus can honestly change our lives. The book is easy to read and truly encouraging that the reader can find the grace and strength to get out of their life’s messes. The book provides inspiring real life experiences that can be truly inspiring. I recommend this book as a great summer read to become inspired to get out of our messy lives.
Matthew 16:24-16 Then Jesus said to his disciples, “If any of you wants to be my followers, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross,and follow me.” If you try to hang on to your old life, you will lose it. But if you give up your addictive ways, a whole new world opens up. Pick up your cross of recovery. Walk the walk of finding new hope in a recovery program. You must turn from your selfish ways. Something that I aim for every day. After all, we are only human. Take up your addiction, your burdens, your disappointments and throw it away. Don’t look back on the things of the past. Look forward to a future. One that has the potential of life altering recovery. Do not be afraid of the challenges of letting go of addiction. Be afraid of what you are missing by not being in recovery. The hardest step is the first step. There is hope in starting over.