Dear younger me: Don’t be so quick to get into the in crowd. One day you’ll be all by yourself. Don’t be so quick to cover up your pain. Pain is a good thing. It means you’re still breathing. Don’t take that first toke. It will smell like skunk in the future. Addiction stinks. You’ll be caught up in a whirlwind of despair. You will be left wondering……Where can I get my next fix. Don’t follow the crowd. Be yourself. Trust your instincts. Addiction will never get you anywhere. Someday you will have a future. But first you have to let go of your past. There is nothing better than recovery. It will bring you peace of mind. No worries of how you are going to make the rent or juggle your budget. Nobody said it would be easy. Letting go and living in the here and now. Now that you started something……..Learn to say NO! Begin again. Get the help you need before it is too late. The truth lies within the Twelve Steps and Celebrate Recovery. Dear younger self: forgive, forget, and live one day at a time.
Posted in 12 step progam, Addiction, Addictive behaviors, Celebrate Recovery, Change, Let Go and Let God, New Beginnings, One Day At A Time
Tagged addiction, Celebrate Recovery, One Day At ATime, recovery, twelve steps
I have been busy processing my life and where it is headed in my recovery. Now more than ever I have to stick to the program of recovery. Stress can be a cause of relapse. I should be happy but I am not. I feel rejected at college. I just found out that I now qualify to apply to the Master’s Program. A professor who will be writing a letter of recommendation asked me to write a paper about my strengths and weaknesses. OH!!!!!! What is this inventory taking time? YES!!!!!! Every recovery persons greatest fear yet greatest accomplishment. As the end of the year is just around the corner, I cannot help but think…….Next year will be better. I have been downloading the negative comments people have been saying to me. I AM WORTHY. I have been downloading illness into my life. I AM WELL. I have been downloading rejection. I AM ACCEPTED BY MY HIGHER POWER!!!!!!!!! By now you get the picture. Think about the things that we download into our lives daily. Is it good, bad, or ugly. We all deserve to be mindful and respectful of…..ourselves. Our recovery should come first and foremost in our lives. We need to be strong and bold in our recovery. We have to walk the walk and talk the talk………..DOWNLOAD complete.
We are our biggest enemies. It is a daily battle. Never give up! The battle can be won . We are our worst inner critics. I struggle with thoughts of failure each and every day. I had an incident happen that truly troubled me. There is no other way than to say that young people are not prepared to get up and do the right thing. An emergency situation arised last week and I quickly got up to assess the individual. Not one student got up until someone realized 911 had to be called. If we act too late in life…..Guilty feelings will arise. I can honestly say that I have been an emotionally hot mess all weekend. I cannot be this way. I need to pull out if this emotional tail spin. I realize that I have to face the fear and do what I had to do. I have no time to deal with the emotional sabotage. Addiction and thoughts of addiction sabotage our thinking. It is a false coverup. If old patterns of addictive behaviors creep back, a false sense of security arises. We must never get too comfortable in the program otherwise we will be falling into that false sense of I can do this by myself. No! Absolutely not. We need the support of others. Whether it is Celebrate Recovery or a twelve step program, around the table we are always understood. Like minded individuals in recovery are truly understanding of what recovery, life, and daily struggles are like. It is a daily battle but we must forge on. You never know who you might run into who needs a helping hand. Keep on keeping on. Fight the battle. The battle is real.
Posted in 12 steps, Acceptance, Change, Courage, Encounters in recovery, Gratitude, Life Choices
Tagged Celebrate Recovery, fighting the battle, Going deeper, Holy Spirit, recovery, twelve steps
The following entry was written in 2008 in a notebook I just found…… Nothing in life comes easy. There has to be some pain in life so that you may have compassion for others just like you. This is just another difficulty in life. But you will get through it. You have to believe and have faith. There is no other way. There will come a time where you will feel challenged. There will come a time where you will be healed. There will come a time when you will discover yourself once again. There are things in your life that you need to let go of in order to grow and in order to heal your life. It won’t be easy. Letting go is never easy. But in return you will be blessed. You may not know it at the time you receive it. But know this……Your life is a gift. It is your choice what you do with it. At times, you will stumble and you will fall. At times, you will rise above your difficulties. Never look back on the past hurts you have experienced. Only look forward to today and the blessings that it will bring you. Believe in yourself. You are a survivor……….
May recovery bring you peace, hope, and serenity……One day at a time.
Posted in 12 steps, Acceptance, Celebrate Recovery, Change, Courage, Daily reflections, Gratitude, Journaling, One Day At A Time, Random thoughts
Tagged 12 steps, blessings, Celebrate Recovery, inspiration, one day at a time, recovery, reflections