We are our biggest enemies. It is a daily battle. Never give up! The battle can be won . We are our worst inner critics. I struggle with thoughts of failure each and every day. I had an incident happen that truly troubled me. There is no other way than to say that young people are not prepared to get up and do the right thing. An emergency situation arised last week and I quickly got up to assess the individual. Not one student got up until someone realized 911 had to be called. If we act too late in life…..Guilty feelings will arise. I can honestly say that I have been an emotionally hot mess all weekend. I cannot be this way. I need to pull out if this emotional tail spin. I realize that I have to face the fear and do what I had to do. I have no time to deal with the emotional sabotage. Addiction and thoughts of addiction sabotage our thinking. It is a false coverup. If old patterns of addictive behaviors creep back, a false sense of security arises. We must never get too comfortable in the program otherwise we will be falling into that false sense of I can do this by myself. No! Absolutely not. We need the support of others. Whether it is Celebrate Recovery or a twelve step program, around the table we are always understood. Like minded individuals in recovery are truly understanding of what recovery, life, and daily struggles are like. It is a daily battle but we must forge on. You never know who you might run into who needs a helping hand. Keep on keeping on. Fight the battle. The battle is real.
Posted in 12 steps, Acceptance, Change, Courage, Encounters in recovery, Gratitude, Life Choices
Tagged Celebrate Recovery, fighting the battle, Going deeper, Holy Spirit, recovery, twelve steps
The following entry was written in 2008 in a notebook I just found…… Nothing in life comes easy. There has to be some pain in life so that you may have compassion for others just like you. This is just another difficulty in life. But you will get through it. You have to believe and have faith. There is no other way. There will come a time where you will feel challenged. There will come a time where you will be healed. There will come a time when you will discover yourself once again. There are things in your life that you need to let go of in order to grow and in order to heal your life. It won’t be easy. Letting go is never easy. But in return you will be blessed. You may not know it at the time you receive it. But know this……Your life is a gift. It is your choice what you do with it. At times, you will stumble and you will fall. At times, you will rise above your difficulties. Never look back on the past hurts you have experienced. Only look forward to today and the blessings that it will bring you. Believe in yourself. You are a survivor……….
May recovery bring you peace, hope, and serenity……One day at a time.
Posted in 12 steps, Acceptance, Celebrate Recovery, Change, Courage, Daily reflections, Gratitude, Journaling, One Day At A Time, Random thoughts
Tagged 12 steps, blessings, Celebrate Recovery, inspiration, one day at a time, recovery, reflections
Made a decision to not drive myself mentally ill by non recovering individuals. I struggle with depression………Gasp! But don’t we all somehow suffer from depression. Addiction suppresses and depresses our ability to think rationally. The struggle is oh so real. Only another individual around the table would truly understand. My father recently said I need anger management classes. Heck I know that and the whole world knows it. Yet I must do the footwork of making the decision to get the help that I need all by myself. No not really. I have a new contact number…..The director of a treatment center. The same director who wants to sit and brainstorm with me. Really? I am really worthy to do that kind of service work. I honestly need to start seeing what total strangers see in me……..A compassionate individual who loves all people. The twelve steps have been a part of my life since I joined Alanon at the ripe old age of 16. I joined because of my boyfriend. I have learned many lessons since then. Change must first begin with you. You are the catalyst of change. It starts with making a decision to change and then following through by making your meetings. Be with those individuals who lift you up and celebrate each month of your recovery. Hold on tight to your anniversary coin. It makes your recovery oh so real. Make a decision today to celebrate your recovery. You deserve it!! Don’t stop believing!
Posted in 12 step progam, Acceptance, Addiction, Anger, Celebrate Recovery, Change, Courage, Encounters in recovery, Life Choices, One Day At A Time, Recovery journey
Tagged 12 steps, Anger, Celebrate Recovery, decision making in recovery
I cannot give much details here. I know I am onto a great idea. When the task is done I always ask for permission to publish. I always get a yes. No one has ever said no. I started the idea as a way to get me out of the pits of anxiety. One thing led to another. Total strangers caring for me! Wow…..It shocks me back to a time when it was safe to talk to anybody. I talk to anyone who is willing to listen to me. I practice the fine art of conversation without my head stuck in a telephone. I would rather have my head stuck in a good nonfiction book. Recently I asked a total stranger in a Starbucks a simple question……”When did our society change?” It turns out that he was the perfect person to ask “that” question. It turns out he graduated with a degree in addiction studies from the college I am going to. He gave me his business card and asked me to call him. Someday I will call him to discuss what we both are passionate about……Addiction and recovery. Yesterday at my college, I ran into an elderly gentleman at my college observing a piece of student’s artwork. One question led to another. Finally, he ask me a question…….”Are you a professor?” I replied no and asked him if he was a professor. He replied that He was a professor in addiction studies.
Posted in Acceptance, Addiction, Addictive behaviors, Change, Courage, Encounters in recovery, Gratitude, Life Choices, Motivational, Recovery, TED Talks Videos
Tagged anxiety experiment, recovery from addiction, Stepping into recovery